


And I Feel Fine (OR Laughing In The Face Of)

by DoctorV



Series: Archive: Doc's Old-Ass Fake News Fic (Daily Show, Colbert Report, etc.) [22]
Category: Fake News FPF, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show
Genre: Apocalypse, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - Freeform, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 03:39:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13989690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorV/pseuds/DoctorV
Summary: The world is ending. The Daily Show reports.





	And I Feel Fine (OR Laughing In The Face Of)

**Author's Note:**

> Archiving some old old OLD fanfic of mine. This was originally posted to LiveJournal 05/23/2009, with the author's note:  
> "The description of God that Stephen uses is from Revelation 1:8 (according to Wiki)."

For all their jokes ( _Ghostbusters_ was just one of many), no one really expected it to really and truly be the end of the world. Until it became impossible to deny.

 

For the first time, the flames and carnage behind a correspondent weren't the product of the green screen. John Oliver looked paler than ever, live on the scene, but he stuck it out. _The Daily Show_ had been given free reign, bumping the entire schedule in order to bring their audience coverage of the impending destruction of all they held dear. All the make-up in the world couldn't hide the dark circles under Jon's eyes as he oversaw it all.

 

"The... The Horsemen can still be seen overhead," John continued, only the minutest of wavering in the back of his voice. "Famine is looking a bit peckish, and it seems Death is on his last legs. Looks like _this_ race will go to War. He's a scrapper!"

 

"Thank you, John, stay safe out there," Jon replied, turning to the other camera. "It's in tough times like this that many turn to various religious icons - God, Allah, Zeus, Oprah, the almighty dollar - for guidance and comfort. So it is that we go now to a special apocalyptic guest segment of This Week In God with the man with his finger to the pulse of spirituality... _Stephen Colbert_! Stephen!"

 

"I don't know what you did, Jon, but God is _pissed off_!" Stephen shouted, pointing at him.

 

Taken aback, Jon leaned back in his chair. "Uh..."

 

"Now apologize!"

 

"...Sorry?"

 

Stephen nodded, turning back to the camera and then glancing up. "You hear that, Big Guy? He's sorry. We're all very, _very_ sorry." He paused, then turned back to the camera with a charming smile. "But if that doesn't appease the Alpha and Omega, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty, I suggest you make your peace with your creator and then make peace with your loved ones, because you're going to _want_ someone to cling to sobbing for the upcoming _shitstorm_ we're in for."

 

"Comforting as always, Stephen," Jon said dryly.

 

"Thank you, Jon," Stephen replied solemnly, then smacked his hand down on the God Machine button. The boop-ba-boop sound effect played while the screen behind him flipped through various end of the world scenarios, then slowed to a picture from a zombie movie, two happy grooms kissing, Bruce Willis in _Armageddon_ , and finally....

 

"Ragnarök! The poor Norseman's version of Judgment Day, in which an epic battle causes natural disasters and kills off part of the Norse pantheon, leading to a horrific world in which Kevin Costner is humanity's only hope."

  
Hiding a smile behind his hand as the screen behind Stephen flipped to a picture from _Waterworld_ , Jon reflected, with a comforting feeling almost like zen, that if the world had to end at least he would go out laughing.


End file.
